More dads are suffering from what traditionally has been thought of as a women’s disorder: postpartum depression.

According to Jonathan Scher, M.D., assistant professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York City, the more involved a man is with his wife’s pregnancy, the more likely he is to share her postpartum depression.

Increased financial pressures, disruption and change in the husband-wife relationship and increased responsibilities around the house can all contribute to the letdown feeling.

Symptoms include unsubstantiated health complaints, increased negativity, feelings of persecution, chest pains, passive suicidal wishes and avoidance of family and friends.

According to Robert Hickman, M.D., co-director of the San Diego Postpartum Mood Disorder Clinic, support groups offer fathers hope and reassurance that the depression they are feeling isn’t a sign of mental illness. His advice:

Talk about it. Parenting isn’t an innate ability–it’s learned. Calling another father from your Lamaze class and swapping stories about 2 a.m. feelings is soothing medicine for dads who are feeling hopelsss and overwhelmed.